That moment

-when your heartrate goes up because you think that he was just kidding with you, and you think he has come home after all to suprise you.. but you end up with tears streaming down your face when you realize that the sounds you heard and thought was him, was just in your head.

Time is just an easy way to end it all.

I do everything I can, but the more I try the further you push me away. I know you do not feel the same and you say that all you need now is time. But time can mean a lot, and for me it’s like using the word “time” as a nice way to end it. Tonight I came to you instead of going home because you’re my safety and we promised each other that we would always be there for each other, but you were not home and you did not come home that night. I was left waiting for someone who never came ..

HELL.

Hell is not where everything burns and satan tortures you. Hell is when you live in constant fear. And I fear I’ll never get you back. I fear for myself and who I have become, but trying so desperately to get away from. I can not stand the thought of not having you as my own. You are my everything and my only. Without you, I am a wandering dead. And it’s all my fault. Literally.